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Archives 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
well, i know i should update my blog promptly but i'm pretty caught up with things lately. I got a haircut, like finally! hahas..basically, not much of a diff cept for a fringe n thinning sides. I was nearly on the verge to splurge again when i caught sight of this velvet pink purse. goes awww...
I realised this when Gil said something like..'girl I think u've moved on'. I dont think so much, i dont go into depression when he didnt bother to send an sms, i dont complain about him anymore, i no longer feel as much for him, i dont miss/think about him every sec, i never mention his name no more. But why then, why when hes trying so hard to come back into my life and i still do care? well, we've been through alot and yes i might have given up our relationship, but i dont want to do the same for this friendship. He once told me this,' For somethings, once they r gone and lost forever..theres no way you can get it back.' Implies not only the promises i made, but the love u i once clinged on. He can no longer convince me the way he did, that particular single minded girl who fear to be loved, or should i say, know nothing about it, to feel so strong about someone. and now, I'm back to where I am, when nobody is more than a friend. But hes return, might just have got to hurt him a little when he realise this.
alright, what i've been up to lately. Met Les yesterday for breakfast at the stretch of laksa stalls along Katong. Then i started turning blue, thus headed back home by cab. slpet way the cramps and met him yet again at tampines mall to purchase some groceries before Gil got me down at cine. Trotted abit more down to P.S to slack at coffeebean. something which i wldnt have ordered usually..zen tea. which after that, Louis came to pick me up cos i gave an excuse to buy him frapp.
updating backwards, the plan to catch a movie wth Gil flipped. turn out to one whereby she wasnt ard cos of food poisoning. poor girl.. not too bad a cartoon, the only one that freaked me out right from the start. go catch 'monster house'.
Sat, i met Les to do some shopping and stuff till the time when i had to met Gil. last min she couldnt make it. shopped ard tangs when Louis msged to meet up. Clueless where else to have dinner, we finally settled for Holland V's nydc takeaway. gd dinner.
Fri, I picked Les at CCK and we headed down tamp mall together. a long trip back on the mrt and we talked about everything. he started with 'the west side' getting me started to complain about stuff..yet again. yaday yada all the way till we got off to grab something to eat. my fave mos curry burger. yummylicious.
above all that, wkdays basically sucks. unfortunately, lets begin with monday(today)..
jennifer at 12:04 AM And so..the emails were just means of getting to me. Very unikely i thought, by what could have sparked that slightest idea of missing me. Browsing through friendster, for it had always been where i find my answers, it suddenly all fall into picture. Yes, he was not only trying to ask me out, but to the rest of the girls he know as well. and he added her back. yup..a picture just for her too. how sweet. so what he lost his all his contacts? Does it make a diff with or without mine? I'm glad i didnt have friendster, i'm glad my line got deactivated at the right time, i'm glad he can only contact me thru emails. I'm glad he dont know how else to get to me. but above all that rants, i did replied him my old number remained unchange. sigh..i shld have known. since he had added her back to his list of friends, it doesnt matter losing one either. right.
I will never give myself to believe so easily anymore. never.
I shared sentiments with my colleague over an issue of a similar background. She was generous indeed to tell me exactly what i need to know and what i ought to expect. It all makes sense now.
I recently got to know abt this friend of mine who broke up and got back together and then now broke up again after merely enlisting just 2 wks. Its that easy.. poor fellow i'd say and i really hope he pulls through..if i could say.. its not the end of the world ya.
I'm happy the way am NOW. ever since my declaration of independence.
I enjoy it whenever you wonder how i'm getting compared it to urs.. Whatever it is, do continue to wallow in self-pity.
jennifer at 9:47 PM i don't wanna know anymore. You live ur life and i live mine. =)
So bored alone at home.. sigh..i think i'm suffering from PMS. Post menstral syndrome. after effects.. lol. and my phone line was cut off yesterday.. *throws phones against the wall. arghhHh.... i wish i can fast forward the days.. and also slow-mo the weekends. whahaha..
Oh yesh, wadever happen to my washboard abs plan?! i gotta so something man.. hai.. and my plans for dance? i need a life man.. wasted half on him already..tsk..
wad an entry.. *shakes head..
jennifer at 8:41 PM work had been overwhelming.. it had merely got me not thinking abt things.. but then.. what am i really trying to prove? sighh...
Does it really hurt that much? so much that i can see ur heart bleed..
jennifer at 12:04 AM An extended wkend was just what i need... Met up with gil n drew at 4.30pm sharp at expo yesterday but still, the service faced an overflow. Cldnt get in unless we wait till the 7o'clock one which of cos we didnt, n headed down town instead. When we finished our lunch together with ava n kiat, it was pretty much of wat-to-do-next. Settled with the idea of some sort of a movie marathon at gil's place and we rented Saw2, american pie and the classic. The first one was a sick movie..it still was at the back of my mind even after the american pie.. Ewww... we got hungry n suppered at the 24hr prata shop near her block. straight home after that...
Easter service was terrific tday.. the play, the sermon, the alter-call.. all was gd. Sis yuling n i updated each other as well, and i didnt even noticed her ballooned belly until she told me shes 6 mths pregnant. So happy for her..=) and that all the multiplied cell grps are doing well.. cuen became a cell-grp leader, sam got a bf le, and ping is busy with his army n stuff.. so much have changed, but never their love for God ya..
and u maybe right girl, like u've said, hes being unfair to choose to avoid causing me pain, to see me upset..
theres a thousand reasons y i shld give up..
jennifer at 5:05 PM We met up for dinner tday and somehow, hes acting as if nthing particular happened. He updated me with his breaking n stuff.. trying so hard, i cld tell, to make me not to bring up that topic. Accompanied him to get his polo too..then headed down to marina food court to eat.
He smiled and laughed.. just like old times..
unfortunately, i cant bring myself to believe anything he says..anymore.
jennifer at 12:48 AM Reading my past few entries, i realised.. just how time passed so fast. Its only about a month ago when we started to be back in contact and him suggesting to work things out. Seems just like yesterday, when i went to his place to pass him his calc, when he laid on my shoulder and told me he misses me, when he held my hand for the very first time since we broke up, when he msged me after that saying y not we work things out for the moment. I was hesitant, afraid i'll get hurt again. i cld still recall that very day, when i replied, when i thought things are getting the better for me.. thinking hes changed and was willing to come back to me.. somehow.. it didnt last..
Was it because his birthday was nearing? it wasnt just me who shared the same sentiments.. i shld haf trusted my intuition shldnt i? sighh.. its really too gd to be true..
Frm the way he msged me, i was certain he'd changed. cos seriously, i'v never been treated like that before. It worried him when i just texted him a sad smiley, when i havent got home on time, when i'm having monday blues, when i'm so frustrated with my life etc. i still keep those msgs.. somehow they are TOO recent..
out of the blue, all of a sudden, i haf no idea how come but it dawned on him again. he went back to feeling so much for her. maybe bcos i'd given him the idea that i'm tying him down, bringing him to commit..excuses i reckon..
what exactly is in his heart.. is just her.. and i was only there to fill in spaces. simple as that right?
though he claimed i had a place.. its so hard to believe now..
about her blog, shes feeling insecured and left out partly bcos of his sudden popularity. be it on her being reserved and less opened, maybe..she shld haf considered the reason it might had been triggered frm the way how she treated this relationship back then. when she drifted off frm him, when she sort of cheated him.. how he had felt. why he didnt raised the issue, why he took it so calmly. it cant be becos hes so into his dance.. to me.. i see it as just giving up..
so whats behind her blog? a chance i see.. its just a matter of time how much she can take it.. to her, she'll see it as letting go.. for him n for herself. and the way les sees it.. its..a chance..
I remembered him saying.. the best way to make her urs, is when shes at her most depressed downturn.. cos at tat very moment, u can appear to her only pillar of support.. frm there, u'd start off.. and she'll sees u as perhaps.. an option to leave him...
If he sees it coming, y did he gave me the assurance things are not like they use to be btwn him n her anymore? y did he claimed the pic was really put up just for FUN? y did he keep telling me they are like any other friends? y did he said, when his friends mention abt her, its not that kinda feeling when he'l really wanna know more?
why shld he even said hes gotten over her? point is.. he is contradicting himself, deceiving by having me ard and sadly, he never did changed.
jennifer at 10:24 PM
I realised this when Gil said something like..'girl I think u've moved on'. I dont think so much, i dont go into depression when he didnt bother to send an sms, i dont complain about him anymore, i no longer feel as much for him, i dont miss/think about him every sec, i never mention his name no more. But why then, why when hes trying so hard to come back into my life and i still do care? well, we've been through alot and yes i might have given up our relationship, but i dont want to do the same for this friendship. He once told me this,' For somethings, once they r gone and lost forever..theres no way you can get it back.' Implies not only the promises i made, but the love u i once clinged on. He can no longer convince me the way he did, that particular single minded girl who fear to be loved, or should i say, know nothing about it, to feel so strong about someone. and now, I'm back to where I am, when nobody is more than a friend. But hes return, might just have got to hurt him a little when he realise this.
alright, what i've been up to lately. Met Les yesterday for breakfast at the stretch of laksa stalls along Katong. Then i started turning blue, thus headed back home by cab. slpet way the cramps and met him yet again at tampines mall to purchase some groceries before Gil got me down at cine. Trotted abit more down to P.S to slack at coffeebean. something which i wldnt have ordered usually..zen tea. which after that, Louis came to pick me up cos i gave an excuse to buy him frapp.
updating backwards, the plan to catch a movie wth Gil flipped. turn out to one whereby she wasnt ard cos of food poisoning. poor girl.. not too bad a cartoon, the only one that freaked me out right from the start. go catch 'monster house'.
Sat, i met Les to do some shopping and stuff till the time when i had to met Gil. last min she couldnt make it. shopped ard tangs when Louis msged to meet up. Clueless where else to have dinner, we finally settled for Holland V's nydc takeaway. gd dinner.
Fri, I picked Les at CCK and we headed down tamp mall together. a long trip back on the mrt and we talked about everything. he started with 'the west side' getting me started to complain about stuff..yet again. yaday yada all the way till we got off to grab something to eat. my fave mos curry burger. yummylicious.
above all that, wkdays basically sucks. unfortunately, lets begin with monday(today)..
jennifer at 12:04 AM And so..the emails were just means of getting to me. Very unikely i thought, by what could have sparked that slightest idea of missing me. Browsing through friendster, for it had always been where i find my answers, it suddenly all fall into picture. Yes, he was not only trying to ask me out, but to the rest of the girls he know as well. and he added her back. yup..a picture just for her too. how sweet. so what he lost his all his contacts? Does it make a diff with or without mine? I'm glad i didnt have friendster, i'm glad my line got deactivated at the right time, i'm glad he can only contact me thru emails. I'm glad he dont know how else to get to me. but above all that rants, i did replied him my old number remained unchange. sigh..i shld have known. since he had added her back to his list of friends, it doesnt matter losing one either. right.
I will never give myself to believe so easily anymore. never.
I shared sentiments with my colleague over an issue of a similar background. She was generous indeed to tell me exactly what i need to know and what i ought to expect. It all makes sense now.
I recently got to know abt this friend of mine who broke up and got back together and then now broke up again after merely enlisting just 2 wks. Its that easy.. poor fellow i'd say and i really hope he pulls through..if i could say.. its not the end of the world ya.
I'm happy the way am NOW. ever since my declaration of independence.
I enjoy it whenever you wonder how i'm getting compared it to urs.. Whatever it is, do continue to wallow in self-pity.
jennifer at 9:47 PM i don't wanna know anymore. You live ur life and i live mine. =)
So bored alone at home.. sigh..i think i'm suffering from PMS. Post menstral syndrome. after effects.. lol. and my phone line was cut off yesterday.. *throws phones against the wall. arghhHh.... i wish i can fast forward the days.. and also slow-mo the weekends. whahaha..
Oh yesh, wadever happen to my washboard abs plan?! i gotta so something man.. hai.. and my plans for dance? i need a life man.. wasted half on him already..tsk..
wad an entry.. *shakes head..
jennifer at 8:41 PM work had been overwhelming.. it had merely got me not thinking abt things.. but then.. what am i really trying to prove? sighh...
Does it really hurt that much? so much that i can see ur heart bleed..
jennifer at 12:04 AM An extended wkend was just what i need... Met up with gil n drew at 4.30pm sharp at expo yesterday but still, the service faced an overflow. Cldnt get in unless we wait till the 7o'clock one which of cos we didnt, n headed down town instead. When we finished our lunch together with ava n kiat, it was pretty much of wat-to-do-next. Settled with the idea of some sort of a movie marathon at gil's place and we rented Saw2, american pie and the classic. The first one was a sick movie..it still was at the back of my mind even after the american pie.. Ewww... we got hungry n suppered at the 24hr prata shop near her block. straight home after that...
Easter service was terrific tday.. the play, the sermon, the alter-call.. all was gd. Sis yuling n i updated each other as well, and i didnt even noticed her ballooned belly until she told me shes 6 mths pregnant. So happy for her..=) and that all the multiplied cell grps are doing well.. cuen became a cell-grp leader, sam got a bf le, and ping is busy with his army n stuff.. so much have changed, but never their love for God ya..
and u maybe right girl, like u've said, hes being unfair to choose to avoid causing me pain, to see me upset..
theres a thousand reasons y i shld give up..
jennifer at 5:05 PM We met up for dinner tday and somehow, hes acting as if nthing particular happened. He updated me with his breaking n stuff.. trying so hard, i cld tell, to make me not to bring up that topic. Accompanied him to get his polo too..then headed down to marina food court to eat.
He smiled and laughed.. just like old times..
unfortunately, i cant bring myself to believe anything he says..anymore.
jennifer at 12:48 AM Reading my past few entries, i realised.. just how time passed so fast. Its only about a month ago when we started to be back in contact and him suggesting to work things out. Seems just like yesterday, when i went to his place to pass him his calc, when he laid on my shoulder and told me he misses me, when he held my hand for the very first time since we broke up, when he msged me after that saying y not we work things out for the moment. I was hesitant, afraid i'll get hurt again. i cld still recall that very day, when i replied, when i thought things are getting the better for me.. thinking hes changed and was willing to come back to me.. somehow.. it didnt last..
Was it because his birthday was nearing? it wasnt just me who shared the same sentiments.. i shld haf trusted my intuition shldnt i? sighh.. its really too gd to be true..
Frm the way he msged me, i was certain he'd changed. cos seriously, i'v never been treated like that before. It worried him when i just texted him a sad smiley, when i havent got home on time, when i'm having monday blues, when i'm so frustrated with my life etc. i still keep those msgs.. somehow they are TOO recent..
out of the blue, all of a sudden, i haf no idea how come but it dawned on him again. he went back to feeling so much for her. maybe bcos i'd given him the idea that i'm tying him down, bringing him to commit..excuses i reckon..
what exactly is in his heart.. is just her.. and i was only there to fill in spaces. simple as that right?
though he claimed i had a place.. its so hard to believe now..
about her blog, shes feeling insecured and left out partly bcos of his sudden popularity. be it on her being reserved and less opened, maybe..she shld haf considered the reason it might had been triggered frm the way how she treated this relationship back then. when she drifted off frm him, when she sort of cheated him.. how he had felt. why he didnt raised the issue, why he took it so calmly. it cant be becos hes so into his dance.. to me.. i see it as just giving up..
so whats behind her blog? a chance i see.. its just a matter of time how much she can take it.. to her, she'll see it as letting go.. for him n for herself. and the way les sees it.. its..a chance..
I remembered him saying.. the best way to make her urs, is when shes at her most depressed downturn.. cos at tat very moment, u can appear to her only pillar of support.. frm there, u'd start off.. and she'll sees u as perhaps.. an option to leave him...
If he sees it coming, y did he gave me the assurance things are not like they use to be btwn him n her anymore? y did he claimed the pic was really put up just for FUN? y did he keep telling me they are like any other friends? y did he said, when his friends mention abt her, its not that kinda feeling when he'l really wanna know more?
why shld he even said hes gotten over her? point is.. he is contradicting himself, deceiving by having me ard and sadly, he never did changed.
jennifer at 10:24 PM